A Writers Inner Struggle

I’ve been rather quiet online of late, caught within my own inner turmoil of thought, a great deal of which relates to writing. You see, I write paranormal romance – I love it to my bones, yet I’ve found myself reading more and more contemporary romance – something I also love. Ideas began whirring and before I knew it parts of a contemporary romance had plotted itself in my head, and I’ll write it – I will. I’ve already started and I love the characters, but for some reason as I’m writing it I feel like it’s missing something, and then a sun beam poked it’s way into my thoughts and illuminated the problem: it’s not paranormal romance. I write on the darker side. Hell, I put my characters on a ledge and then push them off. I give them conflict after conflict after conflict, and just when things seem to be settling, I jam a knife in their back and twist. I could do something similar with a contemporary romance, but I wanted it light and fluffy so I’ve restrained myself.

My reasons for wanting to write the CR stem from many things. First and foremost, my love for the genre, second, I felt I needed to write something lighter after the darkness of The Bearwood Series – just an in between to pull myself from the inky void of despair, but third and please note: this is a stupid reason – because contemporary romance is super popular.

Have you ever played poker? I have, and one of the rules I stick to is never to chase a hand. I play with what I have, I’m good at it. Yet I found myself chasing and I’m not even sure what I was trying to catch. Did I want to elevate my name by writing a CR and hoping it made it? Or was it my complete adoration for the CR books I file under favorites? I’m unsure, but whatever the reason it caused something to nag at me, and then I realized what it was.

I need magic, I need despair, I need situations in which it seems my characters can’t find a way out. I need blood, gore, the snap of bone and sinew. I need stakes in which my characters have to chase death just to survive.

For many months I’ve wrestled with myself over whether Forever Immortal should be the final book in The Bearwood Series. I’m no closer to an answer, but what I have discovered is that I can’t make the move to being purely a CR author. I will continue to write Stripped, and all going well I will release it before the end of the year. I also plan to have Forever Immortal released within that same timeframe. And then what? I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure it will be dark.

I go on holiday today, but when I get back I think it’s time to settle down and get back to what I love, with a clearer mind – writing and helping others with their own writing or writing related stuff.

6 thoughts on “A Writers Inner Struggle

  1. Stripped is gonna rock. You know it, I know it, we ALL know it!

    • E.L.Wicker

      Thank you honey! As is ATOM 😉 xx

  2. First, I’ve missed you :)- But I know we all need time (or at least I do) to ourselves to just close out everything else and concentrate what’s going on in inside our heads. Nothing wrong with that – AT ALL! Secondly, write what you want whether it be paranormal or CR. I truly believe some stories need to be written just for us. And, I don’t mean they don’t need to be seen by others, I mean, we need to do it either to make the characters in our heads go away or simply to satisfy our curiosity of whether we can do it or not. I guess what I’m saying, do what makes you happy :). I have no doubt whatever it is, it’ll be great.

    • E.L.Wicker

      Thank you!! I miss you, too. I think I’m getting back to it now, although I’m still having a tiny crisis because the voice in my head that usually tells me the stroy has gone mute…oh no! lol I will go ahead and finish Stripped and hopefully it’ll be all right, but if not – I always have my PNR to build upon. Maybe once I finish Stripped I’ll be raring to do another! 🙂

  3. You will figure it all out! But I have to say adding magic and fun to romance makes my day. 🙂

    • E.L.Wicker

      Lol, thank you! I do love having those added bits of magic and danger!

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